First Things

MATTHEW 6:31 - 34

31Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. 34 Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

What are my worries today? Meetings? Tasks such as getting the bulletin done? Writing a concise, coherent and inspired sermon? The upcoming Pastor Evaluation? All the above? Oh, there are so many things. Have I taken them to God? Ummm...yes. Honestly? Eventually yes.

I confess I don't go there first. I set my to-do list for things that must be done this week. Each day I write down every chore to be completed before going to bed that night. However, it seems I'm always adding to the list--there's always more that I could be/should be doing. It seems that I try to organize myself...that organization will ensure that I don't miss anything and will therefore eliminate any potential for worry.

In reality, it doesn't really work that way. Organization, checking things off the list, doesn't keep me from worrying.

I need to take these things to God first. He loves me. He cares for me. He wants the best for me. Do I believe this? Do I actually believe what I say? Yes, I do, but do practice what I preach? Do I let God have the things of my life that keep me anxious? The truth is I sit down with my lists. I sketch out all that needs to be done so that I won't forget anything...because if something is forgotten, calamity will occur. My organization prevents the awful from happening, therefore I must keep to my list.

And so I have to honestly ask, "How's that working for you, Anne?"

Why is so much of my life about preventing conflict? Why do I let myself think ahead to future days when there might be strife and struggle? Why do I play out various confrontation scenarios in my head, anticipating the ugly words and judgmental stares. Why? So that I'll be prepared? Rehearsed? Can I not let God prepare me?

If I seek God first, if I first seek the things of the Kingdom (righteousness, peace, joy, etc), I will have all that I need. If I give thanks for the conflicts and what could come from them, if I pray for my "enemies" and thank God for them, if I allow God to provide what I need each day...I will have peace. I will be able to let things go. Most important of all, I will be able to allow people to be who they are--cranks and critics they might be.

 

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