Now when all the people saw the thunder and the flashes of lightning and the sound of the trumpet and the mountain smoking, the people were afraid and trembled, and they stood far off and said to Moses, “You speak to us, and we will listen; but do not let God speak to us, lest we die.” Moses said to the people, “Do not fear, for God has come to test you, that the fear of him may be before you, that you may not sin.” The people stood far off, while Moses drew near to the a thick darkness where God was. ----- Exodus 20:18 - 21
Fear. In many circles today, it is a word to issue when one disagrees with another. Rather than accepting the point of disagreement, response becomes an accusation: Fear! It seems that disagreement does not mean a difference of opinions; it means fear--specifically a fear of change.
Of course, there is some truth to the charge...change is frightening. It means a disruption to the usual. Change means adapting to the unusual. And it is the unusual, the out-of-the-norm that we fear.
Take, for an example, a visit from an angel. That's out of the ordinary. And throughout Scripture, such visits illicit fear. Mary and Zachariah each experienced fear in the presence of Gabriel. This is because angel appearances are unconventional, out-of-the-ordinary....unusual.
The verses from Exodus 20 paint a fearful picture: thunder, lightening, smoking mountain, and a trumpet sound. Thunder and lightening are common enough (well, common enough to our experiences; were they unusual to people who had lived in Egypt?), but to see a mountain on fire and hear the blare of a trumpet...all these things happening at once...it must have been a terrifying scene.
For the Hebrew slaves, having experienced the miracles of the ten plagues, the possibility that this Mighty God would speak to them was unusual...frightening. It could only mean their certain death. I smile...how silly...the God who desires relationship with his people would not strike them dead in conversation. Though this fear was a healthy sign--such reverence would keep the people from sinning--conversation with God was not to be feared.
Then why do I fear it? Why is prayer so difficult for me? Why when I sit down w/devotions or sermon prep, why when I feel the nudge to quiet myself and begin w/prayer...why is it so difficult to actually do it? It's not the fear of death the Hebrews had. My fear does not show that degree of reverence; in fact, I think it shows a more casual attitude toward Almighty God. My fear is a self-centered fear: a fear of failure...I won't do it right...I won't please God w/my prayers...therefore, I won't get what I want. I lack obedience because I know God on the New Covenant level. I know the forgiveness, the grace. Yet, when I take advantage of that grace and decide that God will forgive me if I willfully choose disobedience over His nudge to pray...then I lack the reverence, the fear, that will keep me from sinning. I will disregard (grieve) the Holy Spirit who keeps those nudges coming...to keep me from sinning.
Oh, Lord, please do not put out the light of your Holy Spirit. I thank you for every call He gives, whenever I feel like going off on my own: nudges to pick up the phone and make a call, nudges to stick w/my writing and not give in to distractions, and especially nudges to sit quietly and enjoy your presence, dear God. Thank you for shining light on my darkness, on the self-centeredness, that fills me with foolish fears. All praise and glory, all reverence belongs to you Father God Almighty. Amens
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