Covered with Love

15 What then?  Are we to sin because we are not under law but under grace? By no means! 16 Do you not know that if you present yourselves to anyone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin, which leads to death, or of obedience, which leads to righteousness? 17 But thanks be to God, that you who were once slaves of sin have become obedient from the heart to the standard of teaching to which you were committed, 18 and, having been set free from sin, have become slaves of righteousness. ----- Romans 6:15 - 18

Philip Yancey calls it grace abuse: taking God's forgiving grace for granted, and forging ahead according to my own plans and desires.  Grace abuse is continuing to live as a slave to sin, "trusting" God's grace to bail me out. This is what cheapens grace. And it's effects are damaging to the Kingdom of God.

God's grace does indeed cover me. He has lavished me with forgiveness. In this same letter to the church in Rome, Paul reminds me that there is nothing in this world or in the spiritual realm that will ever come between me and God's grace.

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord -----Romans 8:38 - 39

This is such an awesome promise to take hold of, to put my trust in: there will never be a distance, a gap...a breath...between me and God's love.  Nothing will come between me and His love! That's a promise on which to build my faith. It surrounds me.  NO, it covers me.  I belong to Him, and He will never abandon me.  Because of that, don't I owe Him everything? Because I will always have the support of the One, True God, the Almighty and Eternal, should I not surrender all that I have, all that I am, to Him? Is there even such a thing as "my" will when considering all that I have in Christ Jesus?

Yes, there is. I still have the ability to choose to go my own way--to sin--or to choose obedience. This great God has not covered me with an encumbering, robotic conformity. Instead He has entrusted to me willful obedience. I have the ability to choose His ways. And when I surrender my self-centered desires and ambitions--when I choose to obey the ways of God--I choose to love Him. Obeying God is my greatest act of love. It means I trust His outcomes. I hold His promises with deepest faith.  The grace of God is with me through whatever I encounter. And I honor that grace when I choose to obey. That is slavery I can accept.

Nighttime Wrestling

24 And Jacob was left alone. And a man wrestled with him until the breaking of the day. 25 When the man saw that he did not prevail against Jacob, he touched his hip socket, and Jacob’s hip was put out of joint as he wrestled with him. 26 Then he said, “Let me go, for

the day has broken.” But Jacob said, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.”  27 And he said to him, “What is your name?” And he said, “Jacob.”  28 Then he said, “Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with God and with men, and have prevailed.

 

Before Jacob met up with his brother, a reunion coming after a 20-year separation, following a painful and life-threatening parting...before the brothers met up again, Jacob needed some time for reflection and repentance. He needed to take stock of his life and make some decisions before he re-entered his homeland...the land that had been entrusted to him. Jacob needed to face who He was and who God was in his life.

This account reminds us that God is with us in our times of reflection and self-disclosure. In fact, it is God who draws us to such moments. Jacob knew it was time to return home. He knew it was time to face his estranged family. God was nudging these decisions, but He wouldn't let Jacob go until Jacob acknowledged the deceptions he had inflicted on his family.

Sometimes we know the right (the righteous) thing to do, but we resist.

• It may mean giving up something we have "earned," something we treasure. Jacob was ready to turn over flocks and herds in order to appease his brother.
• It may mean admitting we were wrong. Jacob bowed seven times before approaching his brother, humbling himself, acknowledging an unworthiness before Esau.
• It may mean giving our life. Jacob was ready to meet his brother, remembering Esau's anger against him, not knowing whether 20 years apart had soothed the murderous rage. Jacob was ready to meet his brother Esau, to settle the past between them...even if that meeting cost him his life.

But during the dark and lonely night, Jacob gained something new. In the struggle of the night, Jacob faced up to the person he really was. Jacob struggled against the deceiver he had been and the peacemaker he wanted to be. This time of wrestling and struggle with God was a time of confession and repentance. It was a time before God when Jacob acknowledged the deeds of his life and their consequences. He squared off against God...and came away changed. Jacob left that battle with a permanent limp...and a new identity. No longer was he Jacob the Deceiver. Now he was Israel, who had wrestled with God (and mankind)...and overcome. He had not defeated God in the struggle--he had lived through it. He could now face his brother, even with the possibility of death, because he had been through a greater struggle. 

 

God calls us to the dark, lonely times when we must face who we really are...those lonely, sleepless nights that sap our strength and hope. If we give in and acknowledge our deeds, we find God's mercy and forgiveness. We walk away from the encounter changed. If we continue in the battle, God will intervene with something that causes us to let up. Will His intervention bring us to the moment He longs for...the moment of confession and repentance? That remains in our will, but the battle will go on. 

 

I've had my battles. Years of insomnia were sleepless nights of wrestling with what I had done in my life. There was no peace. God called me to do the right (the righteous) thing, but in my pride, I could not confess my sin. The insomnia continued. It continued after my confession until I could accept Jesus' forgiveness. It continued after knowing I'd been forgiven. I suffered with the wrestling in literal insomnia until I could forgive myself. And once Jesus showed me how that could happen, I've had years of nighttime peace.  

 

It was difficult to accept who I really was--a sinner. It's so much easier to deny sinfulness, or re-write what sin is. But then come the sleepless nights when the unconscious mind tries to reconcile the voice of the conscious. Accepting sin as God defines it leads to confession, which leads to repentance...the healing of deep wounds begins. It begins, and continues today. The road to healing is a road of many miles and I have not completed the journey. But thanks be to God! I don't walk them alone. Jesus, my shepherd, walks them with me.

 

Remembering Where I've Been

13 But they soon forgot his works; they did not wait for his counsel.  14 But they had a wanton craving in the wilderness, and put God to the test in the desert; 15 he gave them what they asked, but sent a wasting disease among them. ----- Psalm 106:13 - 15

 

What happens when we forget to look to God, and instead fill up with other things?

When I neglect the relationship--when I decide I don't have time to read Scripture or seek my Father in prayer--it becomes easier for me to forget the great things that God has done in my life. When I choose to give myself to activities of distraction (shopping, eating) or of modern life (watching television, time on the computer) instead of giving that time to God, I put Him at a convenient distance. It's like I say, I'll deal with Him some other time, sometime soon when I feel up to it. When I put the relationship on hold for other things, God is not my centerpoint. And those wonderful experiences of Him stepping into my life become nostalgic memories.

It becomes easier to go ahead with my own plans when I neglect the relationship. And when my plans don't work out, how easy it is to then go to God and tell Him how I expect Him to make the situation work for me. God does sometimes give me what I want. And how often do I then get MORE than I've asked for...more headaches, more disappointment, more frustration...?

When I'm giving to the relationship--spending time in God's Word, praying, putting the relationship into action--that is when I remember. How easily I recall that Christ wooed me, calling me out of the darkness of self-hatred, healing the deep wounds, assuring me that I am His beloved. I remember where I was...and see so clearly where I am today. When I remember where I was, when I take stock of where I am today compared to those dark days not so very long ago, why would I ever choose to go off without Him?

Well, maybe it's not a choice. Perhaps it's simply the outcome of neglecting the relationship. Because when I am consciously aware of what once was, I immediately give God thanks! Remembering the past brings the automatic, I-can't-help-myself love response of praise. And with that, I'm attending to the relationship.

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Dead Is Dead

I have joined Christ in death. My baptism--even my infant baptism--united me to Christ. I share in His death to sin. Having joined Christ in death, I also joined Him in the grave. AND I joined him in the resurrection. I also have been raised to new life. I have new life in Christ Jesus where sin has no power, because it is dead.

Joanna Weaver gives a rather funny illustration of this truth in her devotional At the Feet of Jesus:

...you can't tempt a dead person--or make one afraid. Go ahead and try. Prop him up in a corner and parade beautiful women past him, and he won't even steal a glance (pg 297).

Dead is dead. Our society of violence, promoted through the various media, blurs the reality of death. We get away from the fact that death is final. There is no coming back, no return to normal.

And so it is with sin. It is dead. Jesus put it to death. And that is final. Being baptized to new life in Christ Jesus, sin no longer has rule over our lives.

Yet we live as if we are helpless. We allow sin to victimize us. We continue on in our self-centered passions, not because sin has power over us. We continue in sin because we want to. And we turn to the grace of God to pull us out of the situations we find ourselves in because of the consequence of sin. Yet that same grace of God is there before we choose to sin. We could choose to trust in God for escape before we sin.

By the grace of God we are dead to sin and it's powerful hold. Oh, that we would grab onto that grace before we choose the path of sin.

Lord Jesus, your precious death freed me from the grip of sin. I know I have joined you in that death. I know I have experienced the dank, dark solitude of the grave. I know I have new life that pulls me from trauma and damage when I rely on your grace in times of temptation. Oh, thank you for that grace...amazing grace. Please keep me from abusing it, from taking it for granted. Amen

 

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Reject This

GENESIS 4:5b - 7

5...So Cain was very angry, and his face fell. 6 The LORD said to Cain, “Why are you angry, and why has your face fallen? 7 If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is for you, but you must rule over it.

 

I understand how Cain felt. His offering to God was not accepted, while his brother's was. Cain's was rejected; Abel's accepted. And Cain made the leap that I often make: the offering was rejected, therefore he was rejected. My work, words, or outreach are rejected; I am therefore rejected. But the Scriptures provide the key to this dilemma; the truth of the rejection is found in God's word.

Verse 3 describes Cain's sacrifice as an offering of the fruit of the ground. Pretty nondescript. But verse 4 goes into much detail about Abel's offering. It was from the first born of the flock and it was the fat portion of the animal. Abel's sacrifice cost him much: the first offspring of his ewes. We don't sense that Cain brought such a costly offering. He didn't bring God the finest grain. Or perhaps he brought God what was left over after he sold the crop and paid his bills. Whatever the circumstances, Cain made sure he was taken care of and then made his offering to God. And that offering was rejected. Cain was not rejected; but his offering and his attitude toward it was. He had not made a pleasing offering to the Lord. And God would not accept what he offered. Cain became angry...even knowing he had not given his best. And his anger was apparent to God.

Yet, in His mercy, God attempts to correct Cain. Don't let the anger get the best of you, He says. Do what you know is right and you will be accepted; let anger rule your emotions and sin is waiting to trip you up.

Isn't this so true? We know we haven't done or given our best and we get angry when it's rejected. When I haven't given a friend what she needs and she seeks out someone else. When I haven't put in enough time or practice on a sermon and no one seems to get it. When I haven't prayed before a meeting and there seems to be chaos. In these situations I feel rejected and I become angry. God's word is clear: if I give my best it will be accepted.

But of course this scripture speaks of what I offer to God. So often what I offer is presented to humans beings. Sin is crouching at their doors, waiting to enter. I cannot control their responses to that. And what I offer, presented to human beings will be rejected. How I have let this rejection anger me. How I have allowed sin to therefore enter and spoil relationships.

And the mercy that God offered to Cain is available to me. He reminds me to do my best, to offer the best. HE will accept my best offerings. Rejection of what I have to offer is not rejection of me, because HE has accepted me. Sin does not have to have entry into my home/dwelling.

Thank you, Father, for accepting me. How you deserve the best I have to offer in everything I do: my work, my family, my time with you. Thank you for reminding me to give the best...and then to know that it is accepted...by you. Thank you, good and gracious Father.

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Keeping His Eye on Me

For the past month I have been following “40-Days of Prayer and Scripture” for a set of upcoming Emmaus Walks. Each day I study scripture appropriate for one of the talks or a team or an Emmaus event. This morning the prayer focus was Snacks and Receptions; the topic was “Unseen Servants.” If you’ve been on the walk to Emmaus, you know that snacks appear, disappear, and reappear as if by magic. Somewhere in the that Emmaus Never-Neverland live cookie-baking fairies ready to swoop in with over-laden trays of frosted, glazed, chip-filled delicacies…and the occasional bowl of fresh fruit.

Ephesians 6:5 – 9 was the suggested scripture to guide my thoughts and prayers today:

5 Slaves, obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling, with a sincere heart, as you would Christ, 6 not by the way of eye-service

OK…that stopped me short…eye-service…that’s was a new one…what in the world? I googled and pulled up the first definition that came up. From the Urban Dictionary (grace for the exclusive language please):

When an employee pretends to be working hard only when his boss is watching. Basically, he starts working only when the boss comes walking by.

Jim had the ultimate sinecure. As a call center worker for a company that more resembled the governmental bureaucracy than a competitive firm, he got to play Yahoo Checkers all day, and whenever his boss came by he switched to eyeservice mode, quickly pressing alt+tab and staring at a spreadsheet, while saying "Hmmm... we've logged 37% today and ... uhh... oh hello Sir, I hope you're having a splendid day!"

Boss: "Why I'm doing fine. Thank you. And how are those call logs coming along?"

Jim: "Oh, they're pretty good. My rankin...I mean my sorting algorithm works fine now."

Boss: "Great, well, I'll see you around then."

Jim: "See you around.... *alt+tab* (mumbling) ... darn it! I'm time ran out and my ranking went down to 1370.. "

Eye-service is looking busy for the ones you’re accountable to. But when they’re not around, it’s do your own thing…shop online, check your facebook, play Candy Crush. Some are masters at eye-service. Or so they think. Like the eerie 6th or 7th sense of a mom with preschoolers, the boss knows what’s going on.

A foreman found that his workers were afflicted with this disease of eyeservice; they worked only when he watched them. His own work would not allow him to remain with the crew throughout the day and while he was gone, the workers took an extended break.

But this particular foreman was the proud owner of a glass eye. He found that he could remove eye from socket and lay it on a stump where it could watch the men. He could leave and attend to his duties and the crew would continue working.

One day the foreman returned to the jobsite to find the men back to their old ways. He had placed the eye on the stump before he left, but one worker found a way to sneak around, come up from behind, and place his hat over the eye so that it no longer saw them.

This is eye-service. And it’s no modern day affliction. Paul warned the Ephesians to avoid it. To keep at their work, respecting and honoring their bosses as if they were working for Christ Himself. As if the work of their jobs had been handed to them by Jesus Himself…continuing on with verse 7

7 rendering service with a good will as to the Lord and not to man, 8 knowing that whatever good anyone does, this he will receive back from the Lord, whether he is a slave or free.

And there were also words of warning to the bosses as well (v 9)

9 Masters, do the same to them, and stop your threatening, knowing that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and that there is no partiality with him.

I serve on the District Superintendency Committee--kind of like the DS's PPR Committee. It occurs to me that Paul’s advice for slave/master, employee/boss, applies those serving this committee. We are to do the work as if it came straight from Jesus’ hands AND we are to respect those who work for us as servants of Christ. We are to help our DS who watches over nearly 70 churches and 50-some pastors. Some of us actually answer to him, our “boss," with fear and trembling…or rather with the honor and respect his authority deserves. We value his administrative assistant as a worker for the district and support her attitude of honor and respect for the DS. We go home and serve the people of the churches with good will as to the Lord. They accept work as if receiving it from Christ’s hand.

It’s a circle of mutual respect…slave/master, employee/boss, parishioner/pastor, pastor/DS. Whatever the hat we’re wearing…and knowing those hats change with our relationships…whatever our role, we strive for our work to please Christ alone. We maintain a workplace ethic that doesn't make us look good before the boss. Our ethic acknowledges the power of Christ’s presence in our every part of our lives, especially the work part.

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First Things

MATTHEW 6:31 - 34

31Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. 34 Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

What are my worries today? Meetings? Tasks such as getting the bulletin done? Writing a concise, coherent and inspired sermon? The upcoming Pastor Evaluation? All the above? Oh, there are so many things. Have I taken them to God? Ummm...yes. Honestly? Eventually yes.

I confess I don't go there first. I set my to-do list for things that must be done this week. Each day I write down every chore to be completed before going to bed that night. However, it seems I'm always adding to the list--there's always more that I could be/should be doing. It seems that I try to organize myself...that organization will ensure that I don't miss anything and will therefore eliminate any potential for worry.

In reality, it doesn't really work that way. Organization, checking things off the list, doesn't keep me from worrying.

I need to take these things to God first. He loves me. He cares for me. He wants the best for me. Do I believe this? Do I actually believe what I say? Yes, I do, but do practice what I preach? Do I let God have the things of my life that keep me anxious? The truth is I sit down with my lists. I sketch out all that needs to be done so that I won't forget anything...because if something is forgotten, calamity will occur. My organization prevents the awful from happening, therefore I must keep to my list.

And so I have to honestly ask, "How's that working for you, Anne?"

Why is so much of my life about preventing conflict? Why do I let myself think ahead to future days when there might be strife and struggle? Why do I play out various confrontation scenarios in my head, anticipating the ugly words and judgmental stares. Why? So that I'll be prepared? Rehearsed? Can I not let God prepare me?

If I seek God first, if I first seek the things of the Kingdom (righteousness, peace, joy, etc), I will have all that I need. If I give thanks for the conflicts and what could come from them, if I pray for my "enemies" and thank God for them, if I allow God to provide what I need each day...I will have peace. I will be able to let things go. Most important of all, I will be able to allow people to be who they are--cranks and critics they might be.

 

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